My energy level is so low. I wake up in the morning with the alarm, but it can take me an hour to get out of bed. My husband is so understanding–he brings me a cup of tea and lets me take my time. Luckily I no longer have to get kids off to school. Today all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day. The idea of getting dressed and going out in the world and doing my job, meeting with clients, ugh, too hard. And yet I did it (because I am, after all, a very responsible person).
At work, I put together the first draft of grant proposal. I had lunch with a client and planned some new work we might do together. I worked with HR to set up phone interviews with a couple of job candidates. I set up a system for staff to prepare for their project check-ins. So it was actually a fairly effective day. I was friendly and efficient. There is no way anyone at work has the slightest clue that I have one foot in the pit.
Then I came home, answered a couple of emails, and crawled in bed. I listened to the radio but that’s about it. Right now, the most understanding husband ever is making dinner while I continue to lie around, composing this blog. I can’t bring myself to work in my garden or do my laundry. I don’t even get into my pajamas, but just crawl into bed in my clothes.
This is how I’ve been all week. I function at work, maybe not at peak performance but well enough that no one has commented on it, and I am essentially non-functioning at home. It’s a strange dual existence. I wonder if there is anything I could do to wake myself up? But that would take energy I don’t have.