I was thinking of writing a longer post about slut shaming. But I found plenty of people had already done it really well.  One of the pieces I read recently that I especially like was a letter by Rehtaeh Parson’s dad. (Rehtaeh Parsons was the young Canadian woman who committed suicide after the relentless bullying and shaming she experiences after she was raped and the rapists texted photos of the rape around her school.)

I have really nothing new to add to the long list of reasons why victim blaming is crazy–and crazy-making–nor why it makes no sense that young men’s consensual sexual exploration is “normal” but young women are “sluts” for the same behavior.

So I just want to say that I am trying to have the same attitude about myself and my own experiences: No victim blaming. It wasn’t my fault. Having weak boundaries is not the same as permission to misuse me. It’s easier to believe this about other people, but let’s be honest.  What’s the difference between me and other people? I don’t deserve either higher or lower standards than anyone else. So I don’t deserve more blame than I would put on any other person for going through what I went through.

If you are struggling with your own shame from your own abuse, I hope you can tell yourself the same thing. Don’t blame yourself.

The photo isn’t mine – I found it on Pinterest, actually. But the woman in the photo is awesome.