Day 7 of Believing the Little Girl – Not What I Expected

So little one, I am really working on believing you. I am actively blocking Doubt when she tries to come in the room (go back to the beach, I tell her); I have also cut off Random Negative Rants, who has felt the need to speak up yesterday and today. (RNR is a big bore, endlessly repeating unhelpful observation about what a stupid bitch I am.)

I have struggled though, to hear your voice. You are so quiet. E. said maybe I could hear you better if I let you express yourself in other ways. We talked about collage and touch painting (a variation on finger painting). Even that’s a little challenging because I have taken enough drawing and painting classes that it’s hard for me to let go of “the rules” and ideas about composition. You and I did a little drawing yesterday, some with my non-dominant hand. This evening we messed around with some simple printing.

And you surprised me. I think I expected fear, shame, confusion, hurt, neediness… but not anger. I’m glad you told me.

paint1

9 thoughts on “Day 7 of Believing the Little Girl – Not What I Expected

    • Thanks! Me too. I think it does some good… I have always been a little skeptical about things like using painting or collage to express feelings, but E. convinced me to set the skepticism aside and just try things. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that something my trusted therapist suggests is useful, but somehow I am.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s rather impressive though horrendous at the same time because a child isn’t supposed to suffer like that. Your painting makes a vivid, bold statement, and hopefully got some ‘stuff’ up and out of you.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s