Day 15 of Believing the Girl – I Will Keep Listening

I was still agitated this morning (“activated,” my therapist called it–I had called it “triggered”). The little girl did not go right back into hiding after yesterday’s therapy session. She was still busy expressing herself. E. tells me that if the little girl can’t tell us in words everything that happened, she can tell in other ways. One way can be through the body sensations. She communicates what happened a long time ago through my body now. I feel the sensations still.

It’s as though I have always had these feelings but never understood them before. I thought they were something bad that I had to repress. Suddenly I experience them differently. They have become an important way for the girl to tell her story.

Little one, I want to tell you that these feelings are intense and more than a little scary. But it’s ok to share them with me. I am a grown up, and I am safe now. I can handle your feelings, all of them. I can handle the fear and the anger and the pain and the confusion and the love–all of it. Don’t be afraid to tell me. I want you to share all these big feelings with me. I will do my best to sit with them, to accept them, I will resist the urge to burn them away as I’ve done in the past. My husband says he believes you too, and he will help me cope with your pain. My therapist believes you. Some fellow bloggers—who understand too well what you’ve experienced—they believe you, too, and they encourage me to listen to you.

You protected people for a long time. You don’t have to protect me now. Go ahead and let it out, little one. I have help and support now, and I can handle it. I will keep listening to you.

5 thoughts on “Day 15 of Believing the Girl – I Will Keep Listening

  1. This post brings tears to my eyes. What you say to your little girl is exactly what mine needs to hear right now. That it is okay to share her feelings, there is support now. We can handle it. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Q, what a powerful post. Indeed you can handle the intense emotions that the little girl has been forced to carry all these years. Can you imagine how scared and alone she must have felt. How confusing those feelings are for us as adults. Imagine our little girls trapped with that overwhelm and screaming silently and no one was listening. But you are listening now and capable to face the fear and anger and intense feelings. Your hubby, E, your friends all by your side. You are not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

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