Depression is getting louder. I’m agitated but at the same time exhausted. The exhaustion is overwhelming. I’m glad I’ll be taking a leave, but it doesn’t start until October 1, and it’s hard to imagine how I’ll keep going until then. Thoughts of harming myself have suddenly grown powerful again. I don’t know why. Work stress? The prospect of Doubt returning? A change in my medication? How can I even know?

No energy for insightful writing tonight. I’ll crawl in bed early. Ugh.