I Tell Myself…

It’s okay to be unsettled. It’s okay to have energy for a little while and then need a nap. It’s okay to have weird tingling, shaky feelings in my vagina (who the hell ever has a shaky vagina?!?). It’s okay to not understand what this is all about. It’s okay if anxiety rushes through me in waves, with no clear sense of what it’s attached to. I can be patient. I am safe now. I will get better. This is just part of the process.

I tell myself this and take slow breaths. I’m okay.

13 thoughts on “I Tell Myself…

  1. You are okay; actually, I’d say to myself I’m safe. It is okay to have all sorts of weird feelings. Unfortunately, I think I get the shaky vagina. Please take care of yourself and all of the occupants of your house. I think of all of you often.

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    • Thank you, Patty. I actually tried today to write a post out various occupants of my house, but I couldn’t pull it together. I think I got stuck because I don’t really know what I’m feeling. That was bothering me for a while. And then I read some other smart posts and decided that for this evening, I would just allow myself to be in the uncertain place I’m inhabiting, without worrying about it. (I let Anxiety go to bed early for a change.)

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      • You know what, I was just thinking about you and I came back to read this comment. Lots of times, if I can’t identify what I am feeling, my therapist has me describe where it is in my body, what it looks like…..color, size, texture, temperature…..it actually helps. It sounds hokey, I know. Wondering if it might help you. It helps me when I get the feeling that my feelings are like tangled necklaces in a jewelry box and if I pull out one, the rest are going to come with it. It helps me to isolate and separate my emotions.

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        • A lot of what helps in therapy sounds hokey if you talk about it outside of therapy, but it still can be helpful. I will try this. So I guess what happens is if you say it is a certain color and shape, that helps you get closer to understanding what it really is?

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          • I think. Or at least gives you a way to put it out there for discussion even if you can’t name the feeling. I think in doing this I’ve learned to identify anger in my belly, sadness in my chest and back, stress in my neck, anger in my hands, etc.

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  2. (((hugs))) I have to giggle at your question about a shaky vagina…I can’t say I’ve had a shaky vagina, but I can say I’ve had an angry vagina lol Things will be OK and writing about it can help release some of that energy, also I used to think is was total BS but it turns out if you smile even when you’re not happy, your brain will still associate the action with happiness…funny how we can trick our brain…I tried it and felt so silly I started to laugh…maybe that is the whole point of the exercise I don’t know lol Sending positive vibes your way! 🙂 xo

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  3. Yep. Shaky vagina, shaky womb, shaky fucking everything. Physical shakes, too. Makes me get up and pace the floor. When that gets too annoying I go out for a hard walk. That usually saps it for the time being. But I still get it. A lot, lately.

    Running right alongside ya, la quemada. Shaking vj and all.

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  4. Um, I have a shaky vagina sometimes too. Super stoked to know I’m not alone on that one. My body is always doing strange things that I try to ignore because it scares me to imagine why it would do such a thing. Nothing about that is comforting… But I am supporting you and I care about you so I wanted to add something xo

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