In November, I went to for a medication consult to a professor of psychiatry at the local university (and wrote about what I learned here.) Earlier this week I met with the psychiatric nurse practitioner who has been prescribing meds for me over the past five years.

It was as though nothing happened. I’m doing well right now. Being off work the past ten weeks and spending three weeks in South America has been good for me (as it would be for so many, I’m sure). Since I’m doing well, she doesn’t want to change anything.

“But I wasn’t doing well on these meds before,” I told her.

“Once you reduced the stress in your life, the meds were able to work,” she replied.

“But I am going back to work in a couple of weeks.”

She was quite firm, “Well, we can check in on how you are doing in February.”

I don’t know. Should I only expect meds to help when I relinquish a lot of my responsibilities? Is it okay that they weren’t helping me before? Will they be any help once I pick those responsibilities up again? Six months ago, I was self-harming on the same set of meds. It’s just hard for me to believe that this is best I can get.

Yet maybe she is right. After all, if I am feeling well now, and we switch meds, unless I go crashing into the pit, how will we know if the new combination is better?

Those of you who also count on the support of psychiatric meds, what’s your experience? And when you start to question the decisions of a provider, do you hang on and see how it goes, or do you seek someone else?