I notice that there is a shockingly sexist strain in the way that Self-Loathing talks to me.
Even when therapeutic relationship is good, my sense that my therapist is getting tired of me is painfully close to the surface.
I wake up around 9:00 with a splitting headache and a sense of dread. I hide under the pillow until my husband brings me my tea. I drink the tea and read the NY Times online. The news of the upcoming inauguration and the confirmation hearings for Cabinet nominees does not cheer me up. I…
I gave up on the lithium supplement, since I’ve just gone from bad to extremely bad. I quit last night, and today was already a bit better.
I’ve now been on lithium for 12 days. It hasn’t helped at all so far. In fact, I think it’s making things worse. I feel even more tired than usual, and my thinking is fuzzy and confused or obsessive and self-destructive.
It’s been a hellish week. In session today, as I’m telling E how alone I feel, she asks me if I’ve been blogging. “Not so much,” I say. “There’s nothing to write. I’m very depressed. I can’t see a way out of this. Everything I’d been doing, things that I thought were working, have all…
I’m having a hard time with my depression, and for a change I decide to let my therapist know how I’m feeling.