Timeout for Brother & Gallstones

This blog is supposed to be about my therapy and my healing from abusive experiences in my childhood. But every now and then, I have to wander off topic and just talk about what is happening in my life–which of course ends up affecting, in some way, where I am in therapy. So today I’m…

#therapy

Two Shifts After the Therapy Retreat

The retreat I wrote about in earlier posts has been a big deal for me. In some ways, I feel it was a giant emotional step forward. That doesn’t mean everything’s solved and clear and happy now (wouldn’t that be nice). It just means in the long slow therapeutic process of healing, I feel like…

#depression

Unreasonable

Today I’m being unreasonable. I know it. I also know that “all my feelings are acceptable,” even the unreasonable ones. So this evening, I’m trying to find some kind of balance between allowing myself to pout and fret because things are changing in a way I don’t want and accepting that things have to change.

Fretful

I wake up at 4 am, again this morning. I turn away from the alarm clock and press myself against my husband. Don’t think, I tell myself. Don’t think, and maybe you can go back to sleep. It doesn’t work. Deep, restful sleep is a phantom, a fairy maybe, flitting among the gradually greening trees,…

Something Else I’m Doing For the Girl

Back a few weeks ago, before a bunch of family stuff and getting triggered and another round of venlafaxine withdrawal derailed me, I was venturing into the treacherous but oh-so-important territory of sex. I’d had several therapy sessions with E, in which I explained to her that I couldn’t stay present during sex with my…