#therapy #vulnerable

Won’t Touch Me

I love my therapist; she’s smart, skilled, caring, insightful, grounded, and just a good, decent person. And maybe after all these years, I’m done working with her. I know this is driven by hurt, so I want to slow down, take a breath, and think it through. It’s not¬†only¬†about wanting to put up an emotional…

#anxiety #attachment

Can I Tolerate My Own Neediness?

I’m sick. The last two days, I have either been in bed or sitting on the toilet, as some virus wrings my guts out. I know, yuck, right? I almost didn’t write it because I didn’t want to gross you all out. Yesterday, it wasn’t all that bad, but today I’ve been quite miserable. And…

Therapy Retreat, Part IV

Continued from Part III. I get about 20 minutes sleep, and it’s time for the group to meet again. We all bring our collages, which are about as different as they can be. E has us put a piece of blank paper with our collage and pass it to the right. We look at the…

#therapy #grouptherapy

Therapy Retreat, Part I

I spent last weekend at a women’s retreat run by my therapist, and it was a very big deal to me. It’s only this afternoon (Tuesday) that I have started to have room for thoughts about anything but the emotional impact of the past few days. How can I tell you about it? I’ve turned…

#re-awakening #healing #mindfulness

Re-Awakening

It’s Saturday morning. I have eaten a quick breakfast, no lingering over tea today. I pack myself a lunch and tuck a notebook into my purse. Today I am attending a workshop on Mindful Writing. It’s something I’ve often thought about doing, but until now, I’ve always talked myself out of it. Today I walk…

#depression

Unreasonable

Today I’m being unreasonable. I know it. I also know that “all my feelings are acceptable,” even the unreasonable ones. So this evening, I’m trying to find some kind of balance between allowing myself to pout and fret because things are changing in a way I don’t want and accepting that things have to change.