Body, Memory, Mind

It’s been six weeks since my surgery for pelvic organ prolapse (hysterectomy plus lots of cutting and stitching to repair). The pain has finally decreased; for the last two days I have taken one dose of ibuprofen, that’s all. I walk at a normal pace and even danced around a bit to my favorite music.…

A Look Back

As my first marriage crumbled (many years ago), I became deeply depressed. Also at this same time, I started having my first memories of sexual abuse, some of them clear, some of them fuzzy (and which I have only recently decided to believe). Sometimes looking back helps me see how far I have come but also to…

Therapists Who Don’t Help – Part 1

I was thinking about how helpful therapy can be–and how not helpful. When we are very vulnerable, we can’t always judge, or don’t dare believe our own judgment. Bad therapy is not just a waste, but it can even represent a big step backward. Quite a while ago, I wrote about working with my first therapist, Hannah. She…

Day 19 – Believe the Girl… But Not the Son?

My older son–I’ll call him Alejandro, though it isn’t his name–has autism. He has difficulty with social interactions, especially any that go off script. He is disorganized and unmotivated. He finished high school but has never had a job. He can be very loving but also very thoughtless. He has a lot of anxiety and…