It’s Contagious

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote and then read a short piece about Creepy Neighbor Mr. Mason at my mindful writing class. (Mr. Mason was a family “friend” who thought it was appropriate to kiss and touch me when I was 12 or 13 years old and he was at least 45.) As I…

Stir Me Up and Calm Me Down

I used to imagine there might be a time when I’d be “healed.” Often I couldn’t believe it would ever happen, but it it ever did, it would be some kind of nirvana in which I would be beatifically, radiantly calm, untroubled and untriggered by my past. Maybe it’s exactly that kind of vision that…

#therapy

Two Shifts After the Therapy Retreat

The retreat I wrote about in earlier posts has been a big deal for me. In some ways, I feel it was a giant emotional step forward. That doesn’t mean everything’s solved and clear and happy now (wouldn’t that be nice). It just means in the long slow therapeutic process of healing, I feel like…

Dug Myself Into A Hole. Again.

My emotions are so raw and close to the surface. I am so in need of care and comfort. I think I am conveying this to my therapist, but she isn’t seeing it, or her responses are too clinical or (my great fear, of course), she doesn’t want to meet it. Or, most likely explanation,…